dear poor neglected blog

I know, I know I've not been around. I see Anonymous has noticed, but otherwise, I doubt anyone's been the wiser. I have been focusing on feeling better (going so so) & being a bit more busy (but not necessarily MY busy). Mostly I guess I've been without alot to say about any of it. There are some things that are brewing for me, but nothing enough to share at the moment...and good lord, I don't want to whine & complain anymore!

BUT I've run across something that might fill in the gap for me--Susannah's "The August Break"...adapted from Darlene's December Views. I'm game. Maybe it'll help me take more pics, plus post here more often.

And who knows, maybe I'll post something between now & August just for giggles.

xoxo!

compost happens...so does shit!

compost bin, #13 off the list

Man oh man, I've been MIA & scattered & sporadic & unfocused & down & up &...well, just not here! I feel like I've got alot to write about, yet nothing to say. I guess you could say I feel a bit lost to myself right now.

The biggest update, I suppose is that about 2.5 weeks ago (June 18th to be exact), I went to a new doctor/clinic in hopes of finding help with my continued flailing health. Based on my laundry list of symptoms + physical exam, they started me on some hormones (thyroid, progesterone, cortisol, etc) plus a super-strict anti-yeast diet with medication for that. The blood tests I received about 10 days later confirmed that I am having thyroid problems (autoimmune thyroiditis), plus adrenal fatigue, plus super low vitamin D, plus high levels showing internal inflammation. Blah, blah, blah...basically I finally have some actual "proof" that something's wrong which is a HUGE start.

After about 2 weeks, I am starting to notice some improvements in energy, mood, & motivation. Not like 100% improvements, but moves in the right direction. [I don't want to jinx myself here, and it's not a quick-fix & will take about 3 months to right me, if it is the proper treatment.] In fact, just this weekend I did the following all in one day: art, errands, exercise (hooping), cooking, misc household chores, and phone talking! Plus I did it all with a bit of a twinkle in my eye. This might be a normal day for most, but it was MUCH different than the ones I'm used to lately. But that was one day...and while I'm grateful...today's been a bit different.

I don't know if it's just that I don't know what to do with myself with a sustained level of energy or if it's hard breaking out of the old pattern of slothfulness or what, but I fizzled out today & slugged around most of the day instead of keeping the momentum going with art & things I've been craving & dreaming of doing for months.

It probably didn't help that I felt a bit down today...lonely is really more the word I should be using. There, I said it, I'm Lonely! I've become so isolated from not feeling like doing anything & the fact that I haven't had a real partner in 3 years is frustrating, as is the fact that the partner I last had is still lingering in a long distance way in my life, yet he's not even fully present from his distant perch. All in all, I just feel lonelier than I ever have...friends are few between (and far flung), dating is non-existent, and me alone at home is becoming very tiresome & monotonous.

Monotonous is a good word too...I don't feel inspired yet. Not with my art. Not with my writing. Not with my career change. Not with dating. Not with anything really (well, the hooping is definitely helping & I'm coming along even in just a couple short days). So I'm just hoping those other things (the inspiration & motivation & oomph) will start to catch up to the energy as it continues (hopefully) to grace me with its presence more & more.

I could go on & on with whining about how I'm not doing this or not accomplishing that, but I won't....I'll leave it on a positive note of everything catching up in due time. Because the truth is, I'm feeling a hell of a lot more hopeful about it than I was even just 3 weeks ago!

xoxo!

hoop-la

Took my first hoop dance class last night--I'm totally HOOKED!

I've seen this done before and am always entralled watching others do it. While it's been around in some form for quite some time (I imagine since the hula hoop came out in the 50's), I know it's been sort of an "alternative" thing with club kids and/or Burning Man-y type folk, but I guess I didn't really realize it was a "thing!" in and of itself.



Then I saw a post Jo did on her blog at Shapeshifting, and I thought "wait, I can learn this?!" That was maybe on Monday, by Thursday, I was in a class not far from my house! I wanted to buy a hoop that night, so I can practice in between the weekly classes; however, this was not to be. I'm a bit bummed because I'm already itching to twirl the hoop again today, even though I'm a bit sore & reckon I will get more so as today progresses. But that will have to wait til class next Thursday, unless I can get my hands on a hoop sooner. I will continue to watch things like this to inpsire me until then.



xoxo!

ooops, I did it again

Signed up for another e-course...my extreme e-coursing 2010 continues.



Should be good though...get the creative juices flowing & whatnot...and it's for 12 whole weeks (gulp!). And shoot, I guess it will suffice as #8 on the list!

xoxo!

finding my way

an original UK Kodak Duaflex sent to me by my

British BFF after finding in his parent's attic!

I feel I've gone abit astray with this blog....or lack of interaction with it...lately.

I've been focusing on feeling better, I suppose, which seems to be at the center of my creative journey at present, but it's not all that creative, I'm afraid to say.

I did visit a new doctor/clinic about a week+ back & have started a new protocol that I am very hopeful will slowly start to get me back to right again. I've seen some positive results so far, in just a week's time; however, I know it won't be a quick fix & hope in the next 1-3 months I will consider myself closer to 100%. Perhaps I'll write alittle more indepth about it as I embark on it further.

gorgeous weathered bench at Royer's in Round Top, TX

That said, even in this first week, I've already spent time on both weekends dipping back into artwork, which feels nice. But also frustrating! The ideas/inspiration are hiding from me, so all I've managed to accomplish thus far are the basics of preparing some boxes--gessoing my little heart out in hopes that as inspiration strikes, I will have "canvases" ready to go! Today will be a bit of re-org to get things alittle more creation-friendly. Although I'm sure as most artists will recognize, keeping a studio "clean" is an impossible endeavor.


I am currently taking Kelly Rae Robert's e-course, but I have to admit that as with many of my other e-course endeavors, I am not very "connected" to it. I am, however, printing out as I go along so that I will have it as a constant resource to consult offline and even after it's complete. I would like to sign up for Claudine Hellmuth's 12 week creative course as well, but I'm a bit gun shy given the disappointment (in myself) of the last several I've taken. It's calling to me, but they all do in the beginning. Yet, I suppose I've taken something away from each of them, even if not one in particular changed my life, so to speak.

xoxo!

list #4

UK, TX (along the roadside somewhere outside of Round Top, TX)

Okay, I wouldn't say I've been like super BUSY, but as I was recently feeling sorry for myself about my continued low energy keeping me from doing anything, I realized that I've in fact checked a couple of things off my 2010 goals list...including this, #4!

wise warrior (taken in Bastrop, TX)

I've been trying to get into my Polaroid 680 alittle more. It's not as groovy as an SX-70, but now that I'm learning how to use it a bit better, I'm finding it to be charming in its own right.

I took a trip out to a little town called Round Top--it's about 1/2 way between Houston (my current town) and Austin (my hometown). I can't believe it's taken me THIS long to go out there, but I went twice in a 10 day period! The first time I met a friend I hadn't seen in something like 25 years. I liked it so much (the drive through the country was really calming & inspiring), I decided to do my photo day trip (#4) out there again, taking my time this time to stop & take pictures...and to buy a ridiculously cool book to use for my (currently imaginary) art work.

chandelier (Royer, Round Top, TX)

Mind you, one of the first stops I made was to take a picture was of a groovy old, abandoned bowling alley sign in a town called Sealy. Notice how there is not a picture above of a bowling sign? As I stood there framing my shot, a guy pulls up in his pickup from seemingly nowhere (apparently he had been sitting in said pickup in the shadows around the side of the building) and freaks the crap out of me as he leered out of his window to ask me why I was taking pictures. I didn't feel like going into detail about my penchant for bowling, old signs, or Polaroids, so I just said "cause it's cool." He replied with "it's cool huh?" And then put it in reverse to return to his stalking, er I mean, parking spot.

By why is there is no bowling sign picture? Well I was out of freakin' film when I went to snap the picture just before he interrupted me & I wasn't about to spend any more time there to tear open a pack of film, get it loaded, get back out of my Jeep, and walk over to take the picture.

Oh well...just another excuse to go back out there to get THAT picture! It's gonna really gimme the heebie jeebies is that dude is there again the next time!

xoxo!

i'm around

Man, oh man, time is just flying by. I've had thoughts & ideas for blog posts running rampant, but as of yet, I have not sat down to write/coordinate a single one. Hopefully this week will be a bit more fruitful on that level.

I have noticed, in my seemingly missing-in-action (i.e. inaction) status as of late, that I've actually accomplished a few things on the list miraculously, so I must not be 100% inactive. I gleefully look forward to being able to share some of the ones I can now tick off that list. I do have some important ones to go still...but let's focus on the positive, shall we?! Also I've got an update on health stuff (sorta). But no real updates on art stuff (unfortunately).

More on all of the above (and some random pics) later this week...I hope!

xoxo!