Wednesday, October 31, 2012

no tricks no treats

So much for being "chatty" as my newer blog name alludes to.

Leave it to a benign holiday like Halloween to spark a blog post in me many months now?!? But the truth is, I'm sitting home tonight with my gate locked & my porch lights off avoiding any trick-or-treaters that might happen by. Mind you, I've been avoiding them for I-don't-know-how-long...over 10 years atleast...and definitely ever since I moved into this house nearly 5 years ago. So I don't know why tonight feels different, but it does.

Tonight I feel like an ass for hiding out. I feel like a grumpy old lady. I feel like the crazy lady on the street that the kids are scared to ride their bikes by & the parents whisper catty things about. I'm sure none of that is true (actually I'm not sure about the catty comments part), but tonight I feel that way.

It seems we've had more kiddos out & about than usual, and I sort of want to see how they dressed up, but I didn't buy candy & I have nothing on hand to offer in a pinch. But that's not the crux of it. It's when I overheard one family welcoming my new next door neighbor couple into "the hood"...obviously they were sitting out with candy awaiting costumed visitors. Their conversation was punctuated with the family saying "yeah, feel free to stop by any time." Now this is the same family who lived right across the street from me when I first moved into the neighborhood. The same family who lived right across the street from me until only about a year ago when they moved a mere three houses down on my side of the street. The same family who has never once said HI to me or stopped to have a conversation when I've been out. The same family who's little girl used to like to come over and pet my dog when she & her nanny were out for a walk while I was home at lunch. The same family where the father has never once made eye contact or even gestured a wave to me...the wife, well she's a bit more friendly when she accidentally runs across my path.

So overhearing that conversation with my new neighbors just sorta made me feel like shit. I know I haven't gone out of my way to befriend all the folks who live on my street, but I do wave & engage in conversation with them when I see them. And recently I've made it a point to introduce myself to the new people who move in (like even baking cookies for my new next door neighbor couple), but I guess I haven't done a very good job of being a good neighbor to those who were living here when I got here. I don't know. All I know is I feel like a weird hermit sitting in a dark house with her gate closed, hoping the cutely clad kiddos hurry up and get their trick-or-treating over with, so I can let my dogs out in the front yard and sit on the porch for a night cap before going to bed without having to talk to any passers-by.

But really, when you get down to it, that's the kind of creepy mentality Halloween is made for, so perhaps when I get right down to it, I'm in the true spirit of Halloween. Or maybe I'm just an ass, I don't know.