Monday, April 26, 2010

extreme e-coursing

dream catcher, an assemblage by ktucker artworks

I've just signed up for my 5th e-course of the year! I thought my current course would be my last, but darnit, I just couldn't resist this most recent one, Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons.

I'm not sure how much good all these ecourse are doing me--some I've really dove into full force, others I've skimmed off the surface, but found myself dipping back in after they were over. Sometimes I feel like I'm grasping, as I tend to do, for something to guide me, give me direction, help me figure it out. But then sometimes I feel like I'm making up for lost time of feeling crippled by CFS and a longing heart for the last 2+ years.

Either way, I don't care. I'm giving myself what I need right now--outlets for my creativity, self-discovery, and forward motivation & growth. I'm simply a seeker...nothing wrong with that. And what that means to me is learning & growing in directions, especially those I never allowed myself much of in the past.

My e-courses have gone like this:
Jan: Unravelling
Feb: Sexy on the Page
March: Mondo Beyondo
April: Experimental Art E-course
May: Flying Lessons

So here's to extreme e-coursing! And taking myself to the next level.


Saturday, April 24, 2010


This week I've been devling into my experimental art e-course & it's been a bit of a frustrating start. Not because of the class, but because of my own inner gremlins. While I've made art & even sold my art, I still don't fancy myself an artist. The voices that long-ago got implanted in my head still live in there, buried underneath some cobwebs of self-doubt & not-good-enoughness.

This week has allowed me to push the cobwebs away, bit by bit, and let me build some things back up...slowly, very slowly. I'm intimidated by some of the students' works even in this initial stage of the game, but it's not a contest...this class is for me. It's for me to get my creative mojo back. It's for me to push my creative boundaries. It's for me to develop a deeper creative path. And ultimately for me to produce more creative artwork.

Doodle, doodle...splat, splat.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

seeing seductive sights

It's interesting how certain things speak to you differently at different times. Whether it be visual art or songs or car styles, colors, food types, men, weather. I mean anything really can strike you one way one day & another way another day depending on mood, experience, or whatever.

I'm finding that to be true of Teesha Moore's work lately, specifically her current journal pages. I've known about her for a couple+ years now, and while I always thought it was cool & clever and her style has definitely evolved over those years, it is currently speaking to me in a really LOUD and deep and personal way all of a sudden.

Like I want to crawl into each & every journal page & wander through the words & whirls & whims, climb over the images & perch myself between the patches of patterned paper.
(random sidenote: have I mentioned how much I freakin' LOVE alliteration?)

I'm not sure what it is--I think part of my recent creativity slump is me wanting to branch out from my standard assemblage a bit, but not entirely sure in what direction or how far I want to venture. But what I do know is that lately I have been mesmerized by Teesha Moore's work...I wish I could see them in real life (i.e. not just thru a computer screen). I'm so glad I decided to revisit her work after browsing by it too fast over the years.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

outta the funk

pink port-o-potties Austin, Texas 2008

OK...s-l-o-w-l-y emerging from the funk & feeling a bit more hopeful, so thought I'd do a happier post (although that might cause it to be brief). :)

I have to say, I have a couple of exciting things I'm patiently waiting on. One of which is my custom art piece by Claudine Helmuth. I'm getting one for my mom for Mother's Day--I know it will be adorable & I cannot wait to see what Claudine comes up with! My mom is going to get a HUGE kick out of it, I just know it.

Also, gathering my supplies for the Experimental Art e-course Amelia is offering starting April 19...really hoping this helps kickstart my creative mojo. I've been dabbling w/ some collage work...and when I say dabbling, I mean minimal attempts (but somehow it still made a HUGE mess on yet another non-studio table top). Why is it that artwork has a way of spreading throughout the house regardless of having a dedicated work area?! I'm really enjoying going through the Not Paper blog over & over, re-reviewing collage artists Aprile has featured there.

Ohhhh and I keep forgetting to post pics of my art purchases from the Bayou City Art Festival back in March. Well, I don't keep forgetting to post them--I've been delayed in displaying them so that I can snap pics of them to post!

love the look of mixed fabric sofas--these courtesy of my FAVE interior mag, Living, etc.

And speaking of delays in posting pictures, I am in the process of getting covers made for my couch cushions. I finally found some yummy fabric (I hope it works out when all is said & done), but I cannot for the life of me find a pic of the pattern online to share with you here, so I will have to wait til I get the covers back from a friend who's doing the sewing for me to show the before/afters of the couch! I'm really inspired by the look in the pics above...and would love to do a quilted patchwork look like the one to the left, but it'll look alittle more like the 2nd & 3rd.

So see, I guess there are some good things going on & good things coming up that I could be focusing's just that today's the first day in many days I can see the good. So YAY for that!!!


Monday, April 12, 2010

take me to...funky town

I'm all over the place right now...yet stuck in the same place...if that makes any sense.

I had a good weekend--well half of it. Saturday I had a lovely, busy, productive, social day. Met dad & crew for breakfast at 59 Diner, went out to a baby shower for a girlfriend, wandered around in search of fabric for my couch-cushion-recovering-project (found some, will share in a separate post once I have pics), hit the Park for a powerwalk in the glorious spring sunshine, and spontaneously went to a neighborhood art show I found out about while walking my dog. I can honestly say that I went to bed Saturday night feeling like a real person who just lived a real day...and man did it feel GOOD!

Sunday started out similarly--hit 2 grocery stores (the regular one & the Whole Foods one), then made a side trip to the art store (cause I like to pretend I'm not broke & that I really NEED this&that in order to make some art today, but truthfully I already have some of this&that that I bought on another rogue art store trip that I have yet to use for anything art-related).

But then I got home from all of that, already feeling a bit run-down-ish. And what did I do? I ate something sh*tty that, guess what, made me feel totally sh*tty, and then had to lay down & attempt to nap my lethargic self for the rest of the equally glorious spring day--accomplishing NOTHING (not art, not housework, not fun outdoor stuff, not exercise, not online stuff, not writing, not socializing...nothing). I went to bed that night feeling fatigued, bloated, disappointed, angry, and unhappy that tomorrow was Monday again & yet another weekend passed me by without any artwork or any other work to get me closer to my goals.

And today was a total Monday indeed, if I may add. It started highly aggitated & irritable & frustrated & groggy. Somehow I managed to blob myself into work & then to lunch with friends (which helped lighten my mood--thank you ladies). I also ran across a video from this wonderful lady's site that had me blubbering in my cube most of the morning (I can't figure out how to embed the video either, but if you go to the previous link, she'll point the way).

Oh, did I mention I'm also PMSy?! BUT the blubbering was not all for naught. It's reminding me where my heart truly lies...animals & dogs in particular. And so during my luncheon, one girlfriend mentioned a local rescue group that I might be interested I emailed them about volunteer opportunties & am awaiting further info. As a resulte, I've also been looking into dog training education, as this is something that has flitted through my mind a time or two over the last 10 or so years.

Another fleeting, random idea of mine? Dunno, but I'm going to follow it as long as it sticks around & til I have a better sense of yes or no!


PS: in talking w/ my dad this weekend, I've found out the Austin/grandmother house isn't doable right now--they've done some work to it & fixed it up & put it back on the market in another attempt to sell it, which is their preferred route. This is good for them financially of course, and I suppose a sign that my previous thoughts/plan to try to assume it was not the right one.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

ready, set...STOP!

Ugh, I think this hot yoga challenge wasn't such a good idea right out of the gate of starting to feel better. Each time I've gone, I've felt the draining effects the day after. Not the good kind of post excerise invirogation & energy boost, but the deep down drain of my all-too-familiar CFS lethargy. No, No, No!

Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to put the challenge on hold...for now. I will continue going to yoga classes, some hot, some not, and mix it up with my park power walk workouts, but for now, the hot 90 minute classes are proving tough on me (the class itself is getting easier & I love it while I'm doing it, but it's the post-exertional malaise, as they call it, that's kicking my ass the most).

I need to listen to my body, not be stubborn just for the sake of the self-imposed challenge, because I DO NOT want to go back to feeling the chronic energy suck every single day. The challenge will have to wait for a later date, hopefully when I can sustain my energy even after vigorous exercise!


Saturday, April 3, 2010

ready, set...sweat!

downward dog photo, found here

So Friday was Day #1 of my self-inflicted 30-day hot yoga challenge. It actually went alot better than I thought...well, I didn't think it would go badly, but I was a bit nervous to embark on this, seeing how I haven't done hot yoga in about 7-8 years. Coming off of the CFS induced last 2 years, exercise has fallen by the wayside. I've been getting back to the park for my power walks in recent weeks, so I thought it was a good time to up the ante & dive into my hot yoga goal for the year.

Originally I set out to do a 60-day challenge, but I couldn't find 60 consecutive days free (no out of towns or evening plans) in the foreseeable future, and April was all I could manage, so I'm scaling down to a 30-day challenge instead.

For day #1, I managed to stay in the room the entire time, but I did have to sit out a couple of postures (was feeling light-headed upon coming up from certain inverted poses), but I caught my breath, centered myself & dove back in when I felt I was able. I was also surprised at how minimal I kept the criticism of myself in the mirror ahead of me. I did cringe a time or two as I was hanging upside down observing the cottage cheese factory that has taken up residence on my thighs. This is nothing new--it's both genetic & habitual from when I weighed a good 60 lbs more. I doubt I'll ever realistically get totally rid of it, but there have been times in my life where it's been minimal & tolerable.

But that was it on the negativity. Overall, I was proud of myself for going, for hanging in there & pushing through some of the tougher moments. I was also proud that my body could still manage many of the poses with some ease. I already feel like I'm walking taller from just 1 class, so I'm looking forward to improved flexiblity, toning & strength!