Well of course I said I was back, but it's taken me several more months to actually come back here. I'd like to utilize this forum more, but I get distracted & caught up in the fact that there's really no rhyme or reason to this space. But whatever, right? Rhyme schmyme. Reason schmeason.

So instead of focusing on what I haven't been doing, here are a couple of things I have been doing.

Turning 40!

I was so ready to be done with the 30's...not the greatest decade.

I have high hopes for this next one.

And completing my trainer certification!

Apparently I'm official now although I feel I still need some additional hands-on work to really get out there & start making it happen.

And going to Germany!!

My mom & I went back to where it all began & had a great time.

I was born in Aschaffenburg Germany 40 years ago!

Otherwise, I'm actually still trying to get back into the swing of things since the trip (which was back in late June...it takes me awhile, what can I say?) Prior to & during the early parts of Germany, I was feeling pretty good. I was getting to the Park a couple of times a week to exercise (and then not crashing after) & maintaining a fairly brisk pace throughout the trip. But food was nutty on the trip (can you say Nutella & bread everyday for breakfast?) & my energy really started to lag midway through....and honestly, it's continued lagging ever since returning home...i.e. back to the dreaded workworld.

My attitude about this has been less than stellar, I have to admit, yet I'm seeing some light at the end of this dark tunnel. Perhaps a return to Austin is in my more-immediate future than once previously thought...stay tuned for more on that. A bit more waiting is in order, but my intentions have been set & the wheels are in motion. Patience isn't my strongest suit, but I'm mustering as much as I can while I wait it out. It also helps that, in my mind, I'm already planning my going away party! :)

xoxo!

take me to...funky town

I'm all over the place right now...yet stuck in the same place...if that makes any sense.

I had a good weekend--well half of it. Saturday I had a lovely, busy, productive, social day. Met dad & crew for breakfast at 59 Diner, went out to a baby shower for a girlfriend, wandered around in search of fabric for my couch-cushion-recovering-project (found some, will share in a separate post once I have pics), hit the Park for a powerwalk in the glorious spring sunshine, and spontaneously went to a neighborhood art show I found out about while walking my dog. I can honestly say that I went to bed Saturday night feeling like a real person who just lived a real day...and man did it feel GOOD!

Sunday started out similarly--hit 2 grocery stores (the regular one & the Whole Foods one), then made a side trip to the art store (cause I like to pretend I'm not broke & that I really NEED this&that in order to make some art today, but truthfully I already have some of this&that that I bought on another rogue art store trip that I have yet to use for anything art-related).

But then I got home from all of that, already feeling a bit run-down-ish. And what did I do? I ate something sh*tty that, guess what, made me feel totally sh*tty, and then had to lay down & attempt to nap my lethargic self for the rest of the equally glorious spring day--accomplishing NOTHING (not art, not housework, not fun outdoor stuff, not exercise, not online stuff, not writing, not socializing...nothing). I went to bed that night feeling fatigued, bloated, disappointed, angry, and unhappy that tomorrow was Monday again & yet another weekend passed me by without any artwork or any other work to get me closer to my goals.

And today was a total Monday indeed, if I may add. It started highly aggitated & irritable & frustrated & groggy. Somehow I managed to blob myself into work & then to lunch with friends (which helped lighten my mood--thank you ladies). I also ran across a video from this wonderful lady's site that had me blubbering in my cube most of the morning (I can't figure out how to embed the video either, but if you go to the previous link, she'll point the way).

Oh, did I mention I'm also PMSy?! BUT the blubbering was not all for naught. It's reminding me where my heart truly lies...animals & dogs in particular. And so during my luncheon, one girlfriend mentioned a local rescue group that I might be interested in...so I emailed them about volunteer opportunties & am awaiting further info. As a resulte, I've also been looking into dog training education, as this is something that has flitted through my mind a time or two over the last 10 or so years.

Another fleeting, random idea of mine? Dunno, but I'm going to follow it as long as it sticks around & til I have a better sense of yes or no!

xoxo!

PS: in talking w/ my dad this weekend, I've found out the Austin/grandmother house isn't doable right now--they've done some work to it & fixed it up & put it back on the market in another attempt to sell it, which is their preferred route. This is good for them financially of course, and I suppose a sign that my previous thoughts/plan to try to assume it was not the right one.

austin fever

I've got Austin fever again. In the process of starting Mondo Beyondo, I've been having more visions of a particular house/situation I blogged about last year. The situation is such that my family risks losing this house because 1) they cannot sell it, and 2) my grandmother cannot afford to hang onto it. At the moment, it is still unresolved...but looking likely to have an unnecessarily sad ending. Also, just this week, I was reminded of the future of my current job--a soon-to-be open-floorplan-layout which means no privacy or boredom security (i.e. 9-5 internet surfing).

The thing is, it's not so much the house I want...it's a bigger house than I need & I'm not too keen on the responsibility of owning/maintaining a house, especially all by myself. It's out a little ways, so I'd be a teeny bit isolated. And while the price I could pay to save it is a ridiculously low amount for what I'll be getting, I still don't personally have that kind of money just lying around & I'm concerned whether I could afford it on an Austin salary, because I'd have to take a huge cut in pay to move there & that's assuming I could even find a job there to begin with.

BUT it represents something that rings true for me on a less practical level...when I evision it & quiet the nay-saying-gremlins, I am reminded of a secret little dream I allowed myself to dream just before I half-heartedly left Austin to move to Houston. Funnily, I do have some reservations about leaving Houston, but really, there is absolutely nothing holding me here.

The dream involves living simply, closer to nature, with room & time & space to create a nurturing and artistic environment for myself. And with the inclusion of a pre-built workshop next to the house, a space to create a nurturing and artistic environment for others as well. I don't know how to explain it...if I think about it purely (again without the doubting thoughts), it just feels right to me on almost every level...it feels like home for my heart.

Surely because of that, I can come up with the money somehow, as well as the gameplan to make it work too! Yet I'm uncertain & unsure...but as I'm learning in Mondo Beyondo this week, baby steps are all that's necessary & the rest will unfold as it should, if it should.

xoxo!