I've got Austin fever again. In the process of starting Mondo Beyondo, I've been having more visions of a particular house/situation I blogged about last year. The situation is such that my family risks losing this house because 1) they cannot sell it, and 2) my grandmother cannot afford to hang onto it. At the moment, it is still unresolved...but looking likely to have an unnecessarily sad ending. Also, just this week, I was reminded of the future of my current job--a soon-to-be open-floorplan-layout which means no privacy or boredom security (i.e. 9-5 internet surfing).
The thing is, it's not so much the house I want...it's a bigger house than I need & I'm not too keen on the responsibility of owning/maintaining a house, especially all by myself. It's out a little ways, so I'd be a teeny bit isolated. And while the price I could pay to save it is a ridiculously low amount for what I'll be getting, I still don't personally have that kind of money just lying around & I'm concerned whether I could afford it on an Austin salary, because I'd have to take a huge cut in pay to move there & that's assuming I could even find a job there to begin with.
BUT it represents something that rings true for me on a less practical level...when I evision it & quiet the nay-saying-gremlins, I am reminded of a secret little dream I allowed myself to dream just before I half-heartedly left Austin to move to Houston. Funnily, I do have some reservations about leaving Houston, but really, there is absolutely nothing holding me here.
The dream involves living simply, closer to nature, with room & time & space to create a nurturing and artistic environment for myself. And with the inclusion of a pre-built workshop next to the house, a space to create a nurturing and artistic environment for others as well. I don't know how to explain it...if I think about it purely (again without the doubting thoughts), it just feels right to me on almost every level...it feels like home for my heart.
Surely because of that, I can come up with the money somehow, as well as the gameplan to make it work too! Yet I'm uncertain & unsure...but as I'm learning in Mondo Beyondo this week, baby steps are all that's necessary & the rest will unfold as it should, if it should.