Friday, March 5, 2010

all signs point to....

lighting the way
Originally uploaded by k.tucker artworks
Things have been going surprisingly well lately in my world. And it's all because I'm feeling MUCH better since starting the new med (which I hate saying I'm taking a medication, but whatever, I'm happy with the results & it's giving me my life back).

And that is exactly the thing...I'm getting my life back people! So I don't laze around the house, wanting to do things but not having the energy/mental motivation to do them, I'm actually doing & planning & enjoying! Everything from housework to errands to yardwork to socializing is appealing yet again & I'm kicking some serious ass in the process. I even went for a powerwalk workout at Memorial Park last Sunday...and am psyched to return to a regular exercise routine.

It didn't kick in soon enough to make more of an effort at Unravelling which is unfortunate, but luckily the ladies are still kicking around Flickr, so hopefully they will motivate me to keep taking pictures of myself & my world (pic above is for our "light" challenge). But it did kick in just in time for my writing class which has been going pretty good. I definitely need the weekly assignments & deadlines to keep me on track & am alittle sad that after this weekend, I'll be heading into my final week of class there. But I will just have to self-motivate myself to continue on with the routine of writing...improving...and then submitting things for publication (gasp!).

Because I've been focusing my extra time on the writing, I haven't been doing much (i.e. any) art, BUT I feel the juices flowing and have finally gotten my art area ready to dive back in. I have a new inspiration from an unlikely source...I was looking at some Austrailian souveniers someone had (small adorned boomerangs etc) & at first glance I was like "ehh, kinda hokey" but upon really looking at them & then researching Aboriginal artwork, I'm now soooo fascinated and inspired, especially by the more contemporary stuff.

And then of course there's the news of opening myself back up to dating. I'm putting myself out there & looking forward to the opportunity to meet & spend time with new people (of the male variety) which I've been fortunate enough to have been able to do already. That alone has me spinning a bit in la-la land at the moment, yet staying grounded & present & in the moment which is a refreshing change (for me). Part of me is sad to let go of something I was holding onto for a very long time, but a bigger part of me knows that it's better for me to make room for ME and let fate take my hand to things even beyond my projection.

It just feels good. All of it. I think I can safely say that I'm back & I want to stay here forever! I hope to hold onto this gratitude, knowing what the other side is like...having truly experienced what it's like not to live & to watch life pass you by like those film clips where you're standing still & everything around you is sped up.

It probably sounds like I'm all cool & collected & lackadaisical about this after droning on & on about how horrible & miserable it's all been for me the last 2 years. Funny thing is, I'm finding I'm having to sort of relearn things in a weird way--like what to do with myself when I have energy or how to embrace high-fiving myself without waiting for the other shoe to drop. Truth be told, I'm f*cking bouncing off the ceilings, skipping thru the halls, kartwheeling across the yard, and farting rainbows (as my English BFF says), so yeah, life is good, life is going, life is back!!!


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