Friday, January 15, 2010


me trying to be more visible

It's funny because my intention word for 2010 is VISIBILITY, yet since the beginning of the year, I have been a bit invisible on this blog. In my own (partial) defense--I have not been feeling great since getting back to work after the holidays & I've been Unravelling which has taken up some of my online time.

But back to my word: I chose visibility for two reasons: 1) to be seen, and 2) to see clearly.

The truth is, I have been hiding out in a sense for the last couple of years with not feeling well, going through some stuff, etc, etc. But it's gotten lonely & as much as I feel people around me don't understand & I get sick of explaining or excusing myself to them, I know I need people in my life. And more than that, I want a partner in my life.

Along those lines, I want to be more visible to find a partner. I want to get rid of the residual hesitation and unsurity and questions & be open to the right person coming into me life. But he can't find me if he can't see me!

I also want to be seen for who I truly am, not for the facades I put on because of some of the roles I've chosen to play like "office worker" "paralegal" "troubled/sad/lonely girl". That's not to say I don't show people the real me, I do, but more often than not, I'm presenting a part of myself that I don't want to be a part of anymore, so it feels unreal & inauthentic.

The same goes for my art--I have to put it out there to get seen. And doing this will help me with presenting a truer me to the world.

In addition to being seen, I want to see clearly--I want to be able to trust my intuition/inner voice, see the signs of life beckoning me deeper in, hear the directions and answers to the questions and concerns I have about what to do, where to go, how to do it. I want to stop second-guessing myself & staying paralyzed because I can't see which way to jump. This goes for everything: finding a partner (and not making the same mistakes I have in the past), career change (and not making the same mistakes I have in the past), and overall life decisions in general (trying more, being less afraid, leaping without worrying).

So after being invisible here for a few days (so much that "anonymous" commented just to check in on me--thank you for caring btw), I am hoping to put my visibility to action on this blog...and let the rest be seen in its due time!



  1. amazing choice of word for the year. it feels very brave and i, for one, look forward to seeing more of you here

  2. Visibility -great word for it's double meaning.
    Glad you are visible on the web.
    With such good intentions I am sure life will start to manifest those things you desire.