baby steps

Along the lines of my last post about "enoughness," I realized this mindset of perfectionism stops me in my tracks far too often. Take photography for example, often times I do not get out to snap pictures because I struggle with "what kind of photos do I want to take?" Do I take the Holga, the Polaroid, or the a digital (which is on me always). Many times I won't stop to take that picture because I don't have "the right" camera on me or because I'm not sure how to get what I want from the camera I do have on me.

Now, I'm not a Photographer with a capital P. I took photography in high school (I learned to roll, process & print my own film), I had some photographer friends in college (who were into groovy "art photography" and who introduced me to the photography of people like Robert Maplethorpe & Sally Mann), and even took a basic photo 101 class to fulfill an art credit here or there (learned rules of composition & very little else due to intimidation). And that was that...until now, until I saw everyday people taking extraordinary photos of common everyday things, during their everyday lives. And I thought--I want to do that. I see things. I want to capture those things. I will do it through a camera.

And then things start to get all complicated (unnecessarily so)...how do I make photos that look like that, cameras--how many different ones will I buy, I must find "cool" things to shoot now, why don't mine look like hers/his...etc. And guess what--the pleasure of simply capturing the everyday started to slowly slip out of it, like the air of post-birthday balloon, the fun factor began deflating.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE with a capital L the various effects taking photos (especially with film) with various types of cameras can produce. I bought a Holga about a year ago & have been snapping away, yet to get any of the film processed because damn is it complicated & expensive. I have gone a couple of rounds with various Polaroids (a bum SX-70 & a champ of a 600 & a yet tried Sonar). My English BFF even sent me a found Kodak Duaflex from his father's attic, which sits proudly on my shelf. And now an old Minolta 35 mm that a friend gave me of her grandfather's which has probably never been used. But as with most things, the more choices, the harder the decision.

So this is a long way of saying that I decided just to pop out my little snap & shoot digital camera & take it on my evening dog walk. The same dog walk that day-after-day finds me saying "oh, I wish I had my camera" and "oh I HAVE GOT to remember to bring Holga/Pola/Minnie (although this chick is maxie) back to shoot this." I won't say I took THE MOST stellar photos, but I took some damn photos & that is my damn point.

It's about baby steps...about just doing it to do it, not to take the nobel peace prize winning photo (not sure if they even give prizes for that) or the most blogged about photo or the gallery-worthy photo. Just to look at life through the lense and push the button just because. The same will go for my art, my writing, and whatever else I decide I want to put my grubby little hands into & play with. As my health feels like it's improving (fingers crossed, knock on wood, religious chest cross) & I'm actually finding myself creativity capable of doing, this is how I shall roll...one unintentional step at a time.

xoxo!